Ofelia Laticia Sohorro Reyes Almazar Darling
I can't remember the moment I realized Lola (Filipino word for grandmother) was an immigrant from the Philippines, but I always knew she was "different." She didn't look at my other grandparents or talk the same way as my peers. I would say learning about Lola and I's heritage has been the single most influential thing in my life. After visiting where she was born and understanding her life's journey, I feel immensely proud to be the granddaughter of an immigrant. This knowledge has shaped the way I see the world, interact with students and teachers, and the way I view myself.
It's funny; when I began the interview with her, I first asked her what her full name is, a question that usually elicits a speedy response. But Filipinos are known for their long, Hispanic sounding names, so it actually took a few tries before she got her own name right. Born on the island of Luzon into a family of 8 in 1937, Lola lived the first 20+ years of her life in the Philippines. I would've thought it would be nearly impossible to recall events and details about your life 90 years ago, but she did a remarkable job letting me into her childhood. Her family dynamic is what threw me off the most about our conversation. She is the second youngest of 8, and her mother previous husband had passed away before she remarried her father. So the majority of her siblings were, but they were so much older than her she never saw them. She told me "They all had their own family... I didn't even really know who they were; I thought they were my aunts and uncles." It was so strange for me to think that she grew up not even knowing some of her siblings were her siblings. This also meant that she was not very close to them, but two other youngest siblings she was very fond of. I could tell when she talked about them it was difficult, for they passed away a few years ago, making her the last sibling left.
She was born into a reasonably affluent family, and they lived near Manilla, the capital of the Philippines. But this all changed when she was around 14 years old because that's when the war started. If you're confused as to what war I'm referring to, it's World War 2. I'll bet you've never learned that while Japan was at war with America, they were also at war with the Philippines. But when I saw they were I war I mean the Japanese were physically taking over the Philippines. This made cities extremely unsafe, so Lola had to move out to the countryside where her grandmother lived. The first time she ever saw a plane it was a Japanese bombing plane. She told me that she and a friend were staying at her grandmother's and whenever they would go out they would try to make themselves look as ugly as possible because the Japanese wouldn't want to rape an ugly girl. Hearing her say that was shocking. I cannot believe that my grandmother had to experience all the things she was telling me about. It was pretty much like I was learning about a stranger, and I could not relate at all. She grew up in an era where there were gender roles were strictly enforced. She told me she hardly ever got the opportunity to play sports and always had to dress a certain way. All of the schools she attended were Catholic schools run by nuns, similar to the rest of my relatives. When she talked about her schools and even college, she said, "Everything about our school like was so restricted. You couldn't do this; you couldn't do that." Another similarity between her interview and my relatives is that they all talked about the number one Filipino custom, which is respecting the elderly. Lola said, "Respect for the elderly just comes naturally. You don't have to be taught." She went on to talk about her relationship with her grandmother saying that her grandmother was stern and she never saw her smile. Her grandmother hardly spoke to her, yet Lola always showed her respect.
She was very fortunate in her immigration journey that she didn't have to wait nearly as long as my other relatives. Because she applied for a student visa, she was able to come over fast and easy. Of course, a student visa will not allow you to permanently live here, which is where her story becomes about love. This part was especially fun to listen to because she told me the story of her and my grandfather. They met while they were both students at Columbia and had my aunt, Kathy, while Lola still had one more year left of graduate school. Because of the baby and the job my grandfather was offered in California, Lola had to make a decision; degree or family. I hate that she had to decide between to hugely important things, but she made her choice, and she chose family. Because she got married to my grandfather, she quickly got her green card and then citizenship. I asked her if she ever planned on moving back to the Philippines and to my surprise, her intentions were always to go back home after she got her degree. Clearly, her marriage got in the way of that which I think is too bad because she talked about how sad her mom was to see her go and she had promised her mom she would return. I think she really wanted to be able to spend more time with her. Lola even told me that her and my grandfather had made plans to live in the Philippines, he also accepted a job there, but they never followed through. When she was considering moving people would say "You're crazy if you're really thinking about moving back." I glad that when I asked her if she regretted not moving back, she said she did not, I would've hated it if she did regret it. Although, I would not be here if she had, which is a crazy thought. There is so much more then we talked about, but those are stories I wish to keep between my grandmother and myself. I learned so much about there and about life, and I will treasure that conversation forever.
It's funny; when I began the interview with her, I first asked her what her full name is, a question that usually elicits a speedy response. But Filipinos are known for their long, Hispanic sounding names, so it actually took a few tries before she got her own name right. Born on the island of Luzon into a family of 8 in 1937, Lola lived the first 20+ years of her life in the Philippines. I would've thought it would be nearly impossible to recall events and details about your life 90 years ago, but she did a remarkable job letting me into her childhood. Her family dynamic is what threw me off the most about our conversation. She is the second youngest of 8, and her mother previous husband had passed away before she remarried her father. So the majority of her siblings were, but they were so much older than her she never saw them. She told me "They all had their own family... I didn't even really know who they were; I thought they were my aunts and uncles." It was so strange for me to think that she grew up not even knowing some of her siblings were her siblings. This also meant that she was not very close to them, but two other youngest siblings she was very fond of. I could tell when she talked about them it was difficult, for they passed away a few years ago, making her the last sibling left.
She was born into a reasonably affluent family, and they lived near Manilla, the capital of the Philippines. But this all changed when she was around 14 years old because that's when the war started. If you're confused as to what war I'm referring to, it's World War 2. I'll bet you've never learned that while Japan was at war with America, they were also at war with the Philippines. But when I saw they were I war I mean the Japanese were physically taking over the Philippines. This made cities extremely unsafe, so Lola had to move out to the countryside where her grandmother lived. The first time she ever saw a plane it was a Japanese bombing plane. She told me that she and a friend were staying at her grandmother's and whenever they would go out they would try to make themselves look as ugly as possible because the Japanese wouldn't want to rape an ugly girl. Hearing her say that was shocking. I cannot believe that my grandmother had to experience all the things she was telling me about. It was pretty much like I was learning about a stranger, and I could not relate at all. She grew up in an era where there were gender roles were strictly enforced. She told me she hardly ever got the opportunity to play sports and always had to dress a certain way. All of the schools she attended were Catholic schools run by nuns, similar to the rest of my relatives. When she talked about her schools and even college, she said, "Everything about our school like was so restricted. You couldn't do this; you couldn't do that." Another similarity between her interview and my relatives is that they all talked about the number one Filipino custom, which is respecting the elderly. Lola said, "Respect for the elderly just comes naturally. You don't have to be taught." She went on to talk about her relationship with her grandmother saying that her grandmother was stern and she never saw her smile. Her grandmother hardly spoke to her, yet Lola always showed her respect.
She was very fortunate in her immigration journey that she didn't have to wait nearly as long as my other relatives. Because she applied for a student visa, she was able to come over fast and easy. Of course, a student visa will not allow you to permanently live here, which is where her story becomes about love. This part was especially fun to listen to because she told me the story of her and my grandfather. They met while they were both students at Columbia and had my aunt, Kathy, while Lola still had one more year left of graduate school. Because of the baby and the job my grandfather was offered in California, Lola had to make a decision; degree or family. I hate that she had to decide between to hugely important things, but she made her choice, and she chose family. Because she got married to my grandfather, she quickly got her green card and then citizenship. I asked her if she ever planned on moving back to the Philippines and to my surprise, her intentions were always to go back home after she got her degree. Clearly, her marriage got in the way of that which I think is too bad because she talked about how sad her mom was to see her go and she had promised her mom she would return. I think she really wanted to be able to spend more time with her. Lola even told me that her and my grandfather had made plans to live in the Philippines, he also accepted a job there, but they never followed through. When she was considering moving people would say "You're crazy if you're really thinking about moving back." I glad that when I asked her if she regretted not moving back, she said she did not, I would've hated it if she did regret it. Although, I would not be here if she had, which is a crazy thought. There is so much more then we talked about, but those are stories I wish to keep between my grandmother and myself. I learned so much about there and about life, and I will treasure that conversation forever.
Video Testimonials
A Tale of War:
The "Spider Game":